How Do Adults Make Friends?

Esther Earl died in 2010, and when her family asked her how she would like to be remembered on her birthday, she gave the most good answer possible and said she wanted us to celebrate love among family and friends. Which is why, Every August 3rd, people take a moment to say “I love you” to the people they care about.

None of these problems are new, but it just gets harder to believe that strangers are worth investing time in as you get older. That’s not a true belief, but it is a belief. And it’s one of the reasons why community organizations (like churches, clubs, or volunteer orgs) provide so much value. They give us ways to imagine strangers as having more value, and provide shortcuts to finding people we’ll be more likely to mesh with. School and work can also provide those services.

But when we’re exposed to /so many/ people that seem so valuable and cool through social media (either because they really are living exceptional lives or because they are only showing the exceptional parts) we lose sight that what makes people big deals isn’t their lifestyle or how exceptional their job is…it’s just that they are people. If we could remember that, I think it would be a lot easier to make and maintain friendships as adults.

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